bodhi tree swaying » humor

Buddhist humor

bodhipaksa — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 01:11:11 +0000

Good Buddhist humor abounds, in the sense that I know many, many Buddhists who revel in wit. And I’ve found that Buddhists are very fond of humor — a tradition going back to the Buddha himself. Then there is Susan Moon’s hilarious book, “The Life and Letters of Tofu Roshi” (sadly out of print, last time I checked). But good Buddhist cartoons are rare, in my experience, so I was delighted to see this collection of cartoons penned by P.B. Law, and previously published (as far as I can gather) in Tricycle magazine. The collection’s well worth checking out. I laughed aloud at several of them.

Eat your heart out, Monier Monier-Williams

bodhipaksa — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 12:43:06 +0000

Nirvanity n. being attached to one’s supposed spiritual attainments
Buddhacious adj. being unconventional by dint of one’s insight and the freedom it brings
Sangha Claus n. 1. the red bodhisattva of generosity toward children, 2. one who gives generously to the spiritual community
Amateur dharmatics n. the act of seeking powerful “spiritual experiences” because of a lack of appreciation for the ordinary
Skandhal n. the outrageous belief that a self can be found in the mind or body
Bodhisattvacation n. when spiritual aspirants take a week off so that they can help more sentient beings in the long term
mahayaya n. the periodic arising, in the most sober of Buddhists, of the desire to be a rock star (as in the phrase, “get your mahayayas out”)

Happy Colonial Rebellion Day

bodhipaksa — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 10:30:13 +0000

I’m excited to hear there’s a possibility that outgoing Doctor, David Tennant, might be making a Doctor Who movie.
The LRO has started sending Hi-Res images of the Moon’s surface.
In honor of the United States of America’s most important day, Wired magazine publishes the same 4th July article that they published last year.
I like to call it "Colonial Rebellion Day."
Wired also has an interesting interview with Daniel Wegner about his paper on "How to Think, Say, or Do Precisely the Worst Thing for Any Occasion." Just don’t mention the war:

The poetry of Glenn Beck, Fox News Commentator

bodhipaksa — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 12:12:18 +0000

Salon has the best thing I’ve read in a long time — transcriptions of Glenn Beck, the Fox News Commentator, presented as poetry.

The example below could be said to be satirical, except that Beck’s not intelligent enough to be a satirist.

TIME TO BELIEVE

It’s time to stop playing
Games in this country.
It is time to actually believe
In something. I do.
I know you do as well.
Believe in something.
Even if it’s wrong.

(“Glenn Beck,” Fox News, March 11, 2009)

This excerpt from “Friday’s Show” is genuinely beautiful:

We’ve got time to write tickets, we’ve got time to write tickets,
Have the police officers write tickets, you know why…

The man is clearly an idiot, but he does have a talent for using the rhythm of words very effectively.

Salon promises more tomorrow…

(Thanks to bitpakkit on Twitter for pointing me towards this gem).

Cheese on Chinese food

bodhipaksa — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 00:06:18 +0000

Jon Stewart is concerned that Obama’s rhetoric so closely parallels that of George W. Bush, but Jason Jones says, “I guess when Obama says this stuff I don’t think he really means it. And that gives me hope.”

I’d have thought it was the other way around myself, but Jones’ version is funnier.

Jon Stewart on Fox: “Fear and unbalanced”

bodhipaksa — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 16:30:09 +0000

Brilliant clip from Stewart:

“Fox News: Really scared about what might happen; oblivious to what already has.”

What could go wrong?

bodhipaksa — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:11:53 +0000

Dead whale on a beach. A half ton of dynamite. Hundreds of spectators. What could go wrong?

Frank’s on fire!

bodhipaksa — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 14:50:32 +0000

Frank Rich sums up the pitiful figure of fun that is George W. Bush:

We like our failed presidents to be Shakespearean, or at least large enough to inspire Oscar-worthy performances from magnificent tragedians like Frank Langella. So here, too, George W. Bush has let us down. Even the banality of evil is too grandiose a concept for 43. He is not a memorable villain so much as a sometimes affable second banana whom Josh Brolin and Will Ferrell can nail without breaking a sweat. He’s the reckless Yalie Tom Buchanan, not Gatsby. He is smaller than life.

It’s well worth reading the whole of his brilliant piece.

Smoking meditation

bodhipaksa — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:22:49 +0000

When I was teaching meditation at the University of Montana I had a student called Connie who was very concerned about her smoking habit. In my youth I sometimes used to smoke roll-ups at parties and I sometimes even bought tobacco so I could make my own and not be cadging from other people all the time, but I never got addicted and so I had no experience I could share about giving up the evil weed. But I do encourage people to be mindful, and so I suggested that she really pay attention to the sensations and mental patterns that arose each time she was smoking a cigarette. It seemed like a long-shot, but it was all I had.

She reported that after taking up this suggestion she was smoking a lot less. It took her longer to smoke each cigarette, and she was less likely to light up again immediately after finishing one ciggie. I seem to recall that she said she was also more aware of the unpleasantness of smoking, but my memory’s a bit hazy on that point.

Anyway, I was reminded of that when I stumbled upon this little gem of an anecdote, where a smoker approaches a Buddhist monk for advice:

A young monk strolled into the office of the head monk.

“Say, man. Would it like be okay if I smoke when I meditate?”

The head monk turned pale and began quivering. When he recovered, he gave the young man a stern lecture about the sanctity of meditation. The novice listened thoughtfully and went away.

A few weeks later, he returned with another question.

“I’m concerned about my spiritual development. I notice that I spend a lot of time smoking. I was wondering, do you think it would be okay if when I am smoking, I practice my meditation?”

The older man was overjoyed and of course said yes.

It’s a nice story, and it brings up some challenging questions about what meditation really is. The reason this story works is because the word meditation is being used in two different ways. The monk is initially hearing the word meditation as referring to an activity of one-pointed activity in which the mind is fully concentrated, or at least an effort is being made to bring the mind to a point of concentration. In that state of concentration to which the mind if moving, there is a reduction in mental grasping. So the idea of smoking during this kind of activity is anathema. To smoke while meditating (in this sense) would mean to be splitting, and therefore breaking, one’s concentration, and giving way to a particularly virulent form of craving.

The second time the smoker talks about meditation, he puts it in the context of daily activities, and the word means something more like “taking a mindful approach to whatever you do.” If we’re going to do things that involve craving, such as smoking, then it’s an improvement to do it with more mindfulness, especially since we tend to regress to a pretty distracted state of mind when we’re doing something that involves emotional compulsion. It wouldn’t be a step forward to take something like sitting meditation and to introduce an activity such as smoking.

But ultimately it comes down to the question of which direction you’re headed in. Take meditation and add smoking, and you’re heading in the direction of craving. Take smoking and add meditation, and you’re heading in the direction of mindfulness and non-craving.

An analogy would be if you were dieting: if you dilute your sweet-n-low with sugar you’re headed in the wrong direction, but if you dilute your sugar with sweet-n-low that’s going to be helpful. In both cases someone might be using 50% of each sweetener, but they’d be moving in opposite directions.

Going back to the anecdote, the monk is having fun poked at him because he missed an opportunity. Instead of responding with outrage at the idea of meditation being sullied he could have met the smoker where he was at and suggested that he smoke with more awareness. A case of the best being the enemy of the good?

Have you ever tried being mindful while smoking? I’d be interested to hear your story.

Impossible to satirize

bodhipaksa — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:00:48 +0000

This letter is a spoof, but because fundamentalism is so weird it’s not really possible to parody it without people taking the attempted parodies seriously. I wonder how that would make me feel if I was a fundamentalist?