The IKEA Experience

IKEA is a fully immersive, 3D environmental adventure that allows you to role-play the character of someone who gives a shit about home furnishings.

I found this when I was looking up the address of our nearest IKEA, which sadly is located too far away, down in Stoughton, Darkest Massachusetts. The store is larger than some airports I’ve visited, but with better parking. It’s located in a small town, which is no doubt a great boost to the local economy because half the population are now traffic cops, trying to keep relieve the congestion that starts about two miles from the store.

I love the place.

Anyway, the conception of IKEA as a video game is perfect. It’s almost as if the IKEA architects had based their building plans on a multilevel game: you walk through the door and you can see the warehouse right there in front of you, and you know the lamp you really want is in there somewhere, but before you can get your prize you have to navigate a labyrinthine maze of fake rooms full of crazed shoppers, avoiding unnecessary purchases of ridiculously inexpensive and well-designed goods. Last time I was there, in place of a Level 7 Balrog of Doom (or whatever) they had something even scarier — a live Swedish folk band. I think I saw Lara Croft running out the door as I went in.

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